Greener Grass

You change me. You make me think of tomorrow and next week. You make me dream of next month and next year. But it hurts. It hurts to dream a dream when I don’t believe it will ever come true. It hurts to desire so intensely, but not fathom I can ever possess. You give me life and I don’t know what to do with it. When you’re in my life, I trust and wish. I take risks and accomplish goals. You build me up in a way I’ve never experienced. You show me things I have never expected. You make me feel emotions I had no idea existed. When you’re here, I feel joy. It sounds great, but the sad part is that when you are not around I remember the downside to that joy. I remember that what goes up must come down. I remember that I can’t always be happy. I remember that there has to be darkness for the light to shine through. Without one, the other gets overlooked and unappreciated. I want you to be my joy. I want you to be my light and my life. I really do… but I am so terrified of the darkness that often I just choose not to live.